Harry Potter at 3 AM

“Hey BS,” My good friend said to me over the phone, “You wanna go watch the new Harry Potter Movie at 3 AM?”

“Sure, what the hell, I have not been sleeping to well anyway.” I replied after weighing my options.

The 3AM show was in IMAX 3D and it was just too weird of an opportunity to pass up. Who goes to the movies at three in the morning? Only Vampires and hardcore Harry Potter fans not hardcore enough to wait in line overnight for the Midnight show that’s who. While part of me expected it to be packed with a slew of hyperactive young Potter fans, to my pleasant surprise there was a bit of elbow room and only a few people had brought along capes and round glasses. There were even fewer kids, but then again, a lot of Harry’s fans are now technically grown-ups.  

Personally, I am not a hardcore Potter Head. Sure, I have managed to see all the movies and I have even paged through some of the books. I know enough about Potter’s World of Wizardry to follow along without getting overly  lost. I know what a Muggle is for instance and who they are talking about when they refer to the “one who shall not be named”. I am also pretty sure who Harry’s friends are and who are his enemies.  It helps that most of the bad guys dress in black and act overtly crazy or sinister. While I have not read any of the books, I take it for granted that they are more depth and detailed than the movies. Books always are. Perhaps someday I will read them. People keep saying that I should.  I will probably not openly read them in public. A grown man that looks like me reading Harry Potter on a park bench spells out “stranger danger”. Still, perhaps I can buy them off Amazon and page through them for a summer, if only to get an idea on how to write a blockbuster set of books that will make me rich beyond my wildest dreams.

While I am not a huge fan, I must that I have grown somewhat attached to the series. While the franchise is nowhere as near and dear to me as LOTR (I have read those books several times) sitting through seven movies and watching those kids grow up on screen has made me somewhat sentimental. It seems like just yesterday little Harry, Ron and Hermione were first year students filled with wide eyed wonder as they roamed the halls of Hogwarts and got into trouble. Now, they are almost full blown adults ready to finally vanquish Voldemort and do their best to avoid typecasting as they move onto their adult acting careers.

Emma Watson probably has a fighting chance.  

Okay, enough sentimental talk. So I got my 3D glasses and found my seat and got ready to be entertained by Harry Potter in IMAX 3D. To be honest, the 3D was overkill, unlike Transformers which had better 3D action than Avatar, Harry Potter only sported a few token scenes that made the glasses worth wearing. It seems like every movie that comes out in this Real D bullshit has to have a scene where small pieces of shit like ash or snow are floating around. Apparently, this is one of the few things that will actually jump out of the screen at you and in the Deathly Hallows 2 it was pretty much the only cool 3D shot throughout. So my suggestion is do not waste money on a 3D screening. However, given all the action, catching it on a big screen is a definite must.

The Second Finale of the Harry Potter Saga takes off were the First Finale ended. I was a bit lost at first, but then remembered that Dobby had died and was forced to hold back the tears. After a wild ride with the trio through some caverns to recover a relic, the action then swings back to Hogwarts where we finally run into to the rest of the faculty and friends that did not have much of a role in Part One. Here we get to watch Alan Rickman deliver his final performance as Professor Snape. Since Die Hard, Rickman has always been a favorite actor of mine and is great to watch him do great justice to the role he was practically born to do. 

While most of the other students of Hogwarts are given just enough screen time to stare in awe Harry or to get heroically blown up by the Death Eaters, a few are allowed to stand out during the climactic battle scene. The kid who plays Neville  Longbottom is especially fun to watch as he starts kicking ass and taking names.

While the ending of the Harry Potter Series left me with a few goose bumps, I was definitely not blubbering away like an aunt at a funeral like I had been during the final scenes of the Return of the King (I get misty eyed just thinking about it). However, it is still nice to see this series go off with such a nice bang. Harry Potter did a great job of encouraging a new generation of book readers and the movies helped open up that world and get even more people to crack a book. I like what Professor Dumbledore has to say about the power of words and their ability to create. Rowlings used words to create an entire world and thanks to the magic of film, even those of us who never read her books got to enjoy her wonderful act of creativity. Thank you Harry Potter for the hours of entertainment and three  cheers for ending it with such a good bang. 

Transformers 3: The Dark side of Megan Fox

To tell you the truth, I went to this latest Transformers movie with more than an ounce of skepticism. Not only because the second movie kind of sucked but also because my girl Megan Fox was not involved in the project. While she had been around before the first Transformers, it was that one scene in front of the hot rod which is pretty much sparked Megan-mania for three or four years. I remember that scene well and how it caused me to break into a cold sweat and wonder: “Who is that and where can I download some wallpaper of her?”  

The Foxy one was pretty much the only reason I even tolerated the second movie. Even though she was no longer that fresh faced young hotty from the first one and already had a few box office bombs under her belt, she was still pretty hot and worth watching.  But then, when the third had come around Megan’s inflated sense of self importance clashed with Michael Bay’s God Complex and one of them had to go. Perhaps if Jennifer’s Body had gone on to make 300 million dollars, Bay would have been giving the axe, but unfortunately that was not so.

So, they dumped the Fox and got some other young hotty with a body to be Sam Witwicky’s girlfriend. The girl is a former model named Rosie Huntington-Whiteley and she is pretty hot in her own right, especially in that slinky white dress she is wearing through most of the movie. Still, she is no Megan Fox, but then again, Megan Fox is not really Megan Fox either (she kind of looks like a cat now), so we will have to let it go for now.

    

Okay, enough talk about the Fox, let’s get to the movie…

Much like the other two Transformers, the latest movie starts out something mysterious from the planet Cybertron has crash landed near Earth. However, this time it happens to be on the Dark Side of the Moon and the reason why JFK decided to send a few astronauts up there. While I am generally not one for bastardizing important world history (the moon landing being one of the most important milestones in human history) in order to sell a fictional alien conspiracy theory, but  I kind of liked the opening moon mission montage opening of this film. It was kind of like getting a history lesson.

A history Lesson in 3D!

Speaking of 3D

While I still think 3D is cool, being a person who wears glasses, I always have trouble getting those cheap plastic Real D glasses to fit over mine. In order to have things jump out of the screen at me, I need to constantly fiddle with them. What they really need to do is make a pair of special 3D goggle that people like me can wear. Otherwise the neat special effects are pointless and I am basically going to judge the movie on things like plot and dialogue. This time however, I somehow got the 3D Mojo working properly and I ended up getting the most out of my premium ticket prices. I do not know if it was because I managed to get them at the right angle or because I was sitting kind of close to the screen, but stuff was jumping out better than Avatar.  

And that was a good thing…

My main beef with most of Micheal Bay’s films, especially the last two Transformers, is the fact that the action moves at such a hypersonic pace, it is hard to keep track of what is going on. The fighting robots tend to become a whirring blur of fancy CGI and the audience is left holding on to their underwear why trying to figure out who is what. This latest Transformer’s movie however, is not as bad. I do not know if it was the result of Bay needing to slow things down to get the most out of the 3D technology or if he was actually listening to people bitch about his movies, but the action sequences in this latest movie are top notch and easy to follow as the Cybertronians hack the heck out of each other. It definitely worth the extra couple of bucks to watch it in three dimensions.

The movie is also pretty funny at times…

Aside from having the always charming Shia LeBeouf throwing out one liners, Bay also peppers the supporting cast with a number of good actors who shine in their roles. Most notable among them is Ken Jeong (the effeminate Asian Gangster from the Hangover) who delivers a great performance before being thrown out the window. A lot of the dialogue is pretty funny too and helped keep the moments between the action sequences light hearted enough to keep you from sneaking off to pee.

Sure, there were definitely some gaping holes in the plot but the kickass action more than made up for it. Even without the Foxy one, Tranformers 3 is definitely the summer blockbuster that you want to see in a theatre and worth paying the premium ticket price for those cheesy glasses for. Now I gotta go and work on my patent for 3D goggles for the bespectacled movie goer. 

Bromance, Dorkmance

This past week was a pretty decent one for my NetFlix Que. Somehow I managed to get two popular comedies from last summer: Due Date and Dinner for Shmucks, in a row. How I managed to pull this off is anybody's guess. When it comes to our Que, the ol' GF generally makes sure the bank errors in her favor and my picks generally only make it to the top of the Que when I pitch a fit and hold my breath until I turned blue. Either she is slipping, or her tastes are changing from Horror to Comedies. Or perhaps everything she wants to watch to is Instant Streaming.

Anyway, Getting the Movie delivered is not enough. Usually when something I like arrives, it has the tendency to sit around for a month or two because somebody is just not in the mood to see a raunchy comedy and would rather watch Gossip Girl reruns. Other times when I am in the mood to watch a raunchy comedy, the girlfriend isn't. However, lat weekend,there must have been something in the air, because, we wound up watching both these films which happen to feature Zach Galifianakis.

About Galifianakis

Believe it or not, I had actually heard of Zach long before The Hangover, when he was just a oddball stand up comedian. It is good to see him finally get a little bit of fame and fortune.

Any, Due Date is most obviously a Galifianakis vehicle with a little bit of Robert Downy Jr. thrown in. To me it was pretty much a update of Trains Planes and Automobiles with a few more dirty jokes thrown in in order to reach the tickle bone of the overly desensitized 21st Century audience.  Robert Downy is pretty good as an uptight architect Peter Highman trying to make it home for the birth of his first kid. Zach plays stoner man child Ethan Tremblay on his way to Hollywood to become the next big Hollywood star. A scuffle on the airplane lands both on the no fly list and the two must team together to make it across country. Hilarity ensues with plenty of masturbating dog and pot smoking jokes to keep things interesting.

Despite its familiar "two men become best friends on a wacky road trip" formula the movie did turn out to be a pretty good bromantic comedy worth a couple of chuckles. Zach and Robert have good chemistry and the French Bulldog is adorable and funny. I really liked the part when they stop off to buy some medicinal weed from Juliet Lewis, but I thought Jamie Foxx was an awkward addition to the middle of the film. I give it 6 out of 10 chuckles if only for grossing out my girlfriend with the masturbating dog scene.

Like Due Date, Dinner for Shmucks can also be called a Bromance. However, I think it is much more than that, It is something of a Dorkmance. In this buddy movie, old Zach is only a quirky side character while the current screwball summer comedy champ Steve Carell and the always affable Paul Rudd take center stage as the quintessential odd couple. Rudd plays Tim, the nice guy analyst who decides it is time to become ruthless in order to climb up the corporate ladder in order to impress his to good for him girlfriend Julie. In order to prove himself, he must find a Schmuck to bring to his bosses dinner where all the sycophants compete to see who can bring in the oddest oddball.

Just when he thinks all is lost, Tim runs over Barry (Carell) a super dork with a hobby so weird that you can only call it art. Barry, spends his spare time away from the IRS office constructing dioramas that feature dead mice that he had stuffed himself. Tim jumps on his good fortune and invites Barry to the party, only to have Barry instantly latch onto him as his new best friend and begins to show up everywhere throwing  Tims personal and professional life in chaos.

In my opinion, this is probably one of Carell's most brilliant roles. He works hard to make Barry more than just a one dimensional character with a weird past time, and succeeds in giving the audience a character that is both annoying yet full of humanity. The stuff mice dioramas in the film are a site to behold, and begs the question: What is art? Speaking of Art, Jermaine Clement from Flight of the Conchords fame almost successfully steals this movie with his role as Keiren the oversexed, self centered artist that Julie represents. Zach Galifiniakis is also pretty funny as the IRS Auditor with psychic powers and Lucy Punch deserves mentioning for playing a great psychotic ex girlfriend. It was also great to see David Walliams from Little Britain make an appearance in a mainstream movie.

All in all, I thought this movie was quirky enough to make it worth watching again sometime. With a good supporting cast and enough heart to keep you rooting for a feel good ending, this movies gets a solid 8.5 out of 10 chuckles from me. Even my girlfriend stuck around to watch the whole thing.

Winter's Bone Reviewed

Okay, I will admit that seeing Jennifer Lawrence in this dress at the Oscars may have had something to do with me putting Winter's Bone on top of the Netflix Que. Can you really blame me? Look how "healthy" she looks. (I just hope she does not starve away her curves ala Kate Bosworth for the upcoming Hunger Games) Unfortunately for me, Jennifer's Winter's Bone garb is a lot less revealing and a lot more white trashy than the stuff she strutted around during the awards ceremony.    

She still looks pretty good in that white trash sort of way. Besides,  like I said before, that red dress was not the only reason I decided to watch this movie...

I am also a big fan of John Hawkes of Deadwood fame.

It is good to see him getting recognized for his fine portrayal of Teardrop, a vengeful crank addicted uncle in this rural mystery set in the Ozarks.

All those award nominations also played a factor in my decision.

Jennifer plays Ree Dolly, a 17 year old high school dropout who is saddled with the responsibility of taking care of her two younger siblings and her sick mother on the family farm. As if she did not have enough trouble keeping her little family fed and together, the sheriff shows up to tell her that her crank dealing dad has disappeared after putting up the family's property as bond. It is now up to Ree to navigate her way through the closely guarded, male centric world of her father's associates in order to discover his whereabouts.

Let's just say that nobody want's her to find out what happens.

Winter's Bone ended up being a pretty solid film that seemed more about the poverty stricken community that the Dolly clan resides in than the actual mystery of Ree's father's disappearance. Director Debra Granik creates a believable world of isolation and poverty and while you continue to watch to find out what happened to Ree's Dad, it is the sheer power of the place that the mystery happens in that makes you remember the film long after the credits stop rolling. With fine performances by Jennifer and the rest of the cast, you are left to ponder about whether or not these people and places still exist out there in back roads of our nation.

It also makes you not want to try crank anytime soon.

Insidiously cheap

So I went and saw Insidious this weekend, and I found myself having more fun than I expected. I knew from the moment I saw the trailers, that I was going to be eventually dragged to the Multiplex and have to sit through it. Every time any creepy looking film comes out, my girlfriend starts getting that itch. She a big horror movie buff and anything to do with hauntings, the possessed,  the paranormal and what have you, she wants to watch it. I guess I am the same way when it comes to cheesy gorefests starring Bruce Campbell and so forth  so out of the spirit of compromisation I generally let myself be dragged to these cathartic cinema events with minimal whining..

I many times, I even find myself enjoying them.

And this was exactly what happened with Insidious

The misgivings I had about this movie was that it was from the makers of Paranormal Activity and which made instantly think of the horrible sequel Paranormal Activity 2 that I was dragged to last fall. I know, its sad, but like a typical movie goer, I tend to find myself asking: "What have you done for me lately?", so while I did enjoy the first one, the fact that the second one sucked balls made me a bit wary.   This same line of thinking was also applied to the Director James Wan who directed the original Saw and was executive producer of the 75 sequels that followed it. While the first move starring that dude from The Princess Bride was great, the whole Saw franchise got a little bit out of hand. I mean, how many clever death traps are there in this world?

So anyway, I found myself walking into the darkened theater with my box of Junior Mints, not to excited about being there and found myself walking out with my empty box of Junior Mints thinking to myself: "Not to bad, not too bad at all," and I wasn't just thinking about those delicious mint covered candies dipped in dark chocolate.

"See, I told you Patrick Wilson knows how to pick em..." was my girlfriends response.

She was right, I had yet to see a movie that this guy was in that I thought sucked. In fact, I had just watched "Little Children" again on Netflix the other week and found myself amazed how truly good that film was. Sure, Watchmen had impossible expectations to live up to and almost got killed off because of the soundtrack, but it was also good. So yes, I must agree, ol' Patrick here seems to have a talent for sniffing out good films to be in.

In Insidious, Patrick plays Josh Lambert, a teacher with a young family that has just moved into a creepy old house that has a even creepier attic. While the place is a bit creepy, it seems normal enough until one of the boys falls into a mysterious coma that doctors cannot explain. Then Josh's wife Renai (played by Rose Bryne) starts hearing and seeing things in that creepy old house. But it turns out, that it is not the house at all, but the boy who is causing all the creepy stuff to happen. He apparently is capable of astral projection, his spirit capable of leaving his body and going on little trips in "the further" as the boy sleeps. It seems that on that fated night, he went a little too far and got lost and is now trapped while a host of paranormal entities (ghosts, demons and whatnot) fight to take possession of his body. The family only discovers after they move and the creepy things still happen and Renai opens up to Josh's mother (Barbara Hershey) who then gets a hold of her psychic friend.

Ok, this is where I had trouble suspending by disbelief a bit. Not about the astral projections and attempted demonic possession, totally plausible, but about the move. How can Josh possibly afford to up and movie his family of four (including a boy in a coma) across town on a teacher's salary? Either the market for creepy houses is in high demand in that area, or the teachers are making bank. However, this may possibly be an allegory for the movie itself which was practically made for the Hollywood version of a teacher's salary: a paltry 1.5 million (according to Box Office Mojo) but looks like it was made for 20 times that. Hey, if established Hollywood players can make a good movie for that much, why can't a teacher be able to switch houses at will.

All in all, I found Insidious to be full of good creepy fun with a enough twists and turns to keep me glued to my seat despite the fact that my bladder was screaming to be emptied. The fact that it was made on a insidiously low budget only makes me respect even more.

My rating: 4 out of 5 Junior Mints.

Hot Tub Time Machine takes us back

Back in the 80's, when I was just a mere prepubescent boy waiting for his balls to finally drop, there were two John Cusack vehicles that I would take for spin over and over again in my VCR. One was The Sure Thing, which my old man had bought at the local Citgo for some reason and the other one was Better Off Dead he cult classic that still has people yelling "I want my two Dollars". Back then, Cusack was the reigning king of the quirky teen comedies, and even when he took a decided more dramatic turn in "Say Anything" his everymanboyishness still resonated. But, alas, John could not be in high school and college forever, and soon he had to move on to more grownup things like Being John Malkovich and 2012: the RV odyssey.

God, don't you miss the 80's?  While even if you don't, it is still fun to reminisce about the decade that brought us Music Videos, Hair Bands, Cable. Reagan, and New Coke. Okay, so Music Videos, Hair Bands, Cable, and Reagan, were around before then, but hey, at least there is still New Coke right? New Coke and a young John Cusack.

Ok, enough  with me waxing nostalgic, let me get back to my review of Hot Tub Time Machine.

So, thanks to my awesomeness at rock, paper, scissors, I got to pick which Netflix Movie we were going to watch that day. My pick was none other than Hot Tub Time machine starring John Cusack, Rob Cordry, and that black guy front the Office (oh, okay, I will go look it up: Craig Robinson). I had heard that was funny, but my girlfriend was not convinced and wanted  to watch The Talented Mr. Ripley instead. However, since my rock totally crushed her scissors, she was going to have to wait.

So, in went the Blu Ray and out came this gem of a raunchy comedy.

So here is the synopsis: Three forty something friends and one nephew decide go on a ski trip, find themselves in a hot tub which thanks to some wiring mishaps is actually a wormhole into their past. Soon, they find themselves stuck in 1985, during Winterfest, not knowing how the fuck to get back to the present, or even if they want to. While, I am no Stephen Hawking, I am pretty sure that the physics on hot tub time travel are pretty sound. I mean who knows what the hell goes on with those things. So anyways, Winterfest 85 turns out to be a critical juncture in the lives of all them, but the trio and the nephew find themselves torn between causing a butterfly effect in the future, or changing their lives for the better.

Okay, so this story might sound like something concocted by someone who spent the night doing bong hits and watching a John Cusack marathon, wondering "what if? " and it probably is, but you know what. It works. Sure, some of logic in the movie makes no sense whatsoever, but the raunchy comedy derived from this nonsensical logic is fucking hilarious. Rob Cordry is especially funny as that one asshole friend that every pack of friend has and John Cusack is great at being, well John Cusack. Speaking of Cusack, the movie is rife with homages to that time when he was the reigning king of geeky teen comedies.Craig Robinson is also hilarious, adding a certain gravitas to the threesome.


So, if you are in the mood to be taken back to the 80's, or just want to laugh at people dressed in bright yellow neoprene then get your but to your local video store and grab yourself a VHS copy of this funny film. Heck, it might even be out on Beta.

Easy A gets a solid B+

All of us, even those who were born after the fact, know that the 80's was the golden era for the teen sex romp comedies. This was pretty much thanks to John Hughes and the brat pack who help turn out classics that still resonate such as The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, Say Anything and even Ferris Bueller's Day Off. But sadly, that era has gone, John Hughes has passed on to make teen sex comedies for God and Molly Ringwald has gone onto become a TV mom for a preggers teenager.

Sure, once in a while something like Ten Things I Hate About You or Mean Girls would come along and make us yen for those days again when twenty something actors could play convincing teenagers and movies could have a sense of fun yet still be grounded with some type of ambiguous moral message. Alas, kids today are generally stuck with shit like Twilight which is all angst and no fun and stars like Lindsey Lohan who make one decent teen comedy before going off the deep end and showing their lady parts to the world.

This is why the world needs a movie like Easy A which harks back to the good old days when a teen comedy could be about sex and still have a message and a starlet like Emma Stone who can play a convincing teenager yet has the the maturity not to show her beaver off to paparazzi well getting out of limos.

Okay, here is a quick synopsis of Easy A:

Take the Scarlet Letter, add a little 16 Candles romance, a dash of Mean Girls High School Observation and perhaps a touch of Juno parenting and Bam, you have an winning teen sex romp comedy where no one actually gets laid, yet it is still fun to watch. Emma Stone plays Olive, a clean cut girl and tells a little fib about banging a college boy and soon finds herself with a reputation after the rumor is spread by the goody goody (played with vicious glee by Amanda Bynes) who overhears in the bathroom.

However, instead of crying about her reputation, she embraces it instead, reveling in her new found popularity. She then takes it one step further and becomes a fake skank for hire for the meek and downtrodden: sort of like a hooker with a heart of gold, but a this hooker never actually spreads her legs. Anyways, things get out of hand, she meets a good guy and now she has to figure out how to get out of it and wind up with the guy who is sort of a cross between John Cusack in Say Anything and that one dude with the nice car in sixteen candles.

The only thing that is really hard to believe in this movie is the premise that Olive has somehow managed to go unnoticed by the high school boys up until she develops a reputation. I mean, come on, Emma Stone is hot. hotter than Molly Ringwald ever dreamed to be. But, then again, this is something the audience is just going to have to suspend their disbelief about in order to accept the premise of the movie. Perhaps it is because she hangs out with a girl with much bigger boobs than her.

The thing that I liked most about the movie was the surprisingly hilarious banter that is scattered throughout. Olive's parents (played by Stanley Tucci and Patricia Clarkston) are especially funny. Speaking of Olive's parents, I thought they were the best teen parents to show up in the movie since Juno. They simply ooze quirky California culture while at the same time showing that even sun baked Cali parents can be warm and supportive. This is especially true for Olive's mother who comes across as surprisingly realistic and endearing.

All in all, Easy A is an above average film that makes you miss those good old days when teen movies were neither horrendous satires about teen movies nor angst loaded bullshit featuring werewolves and vampires. I highly recommend you add Easy A to your Netflix que and enjoy it, because it will probably be a few years before another good teen movie like it comes out again.