Transformers 3: The Dark side of Megan Fox

To tell you the truth, I went to this latest Transformers movie with more than an ounce of skepticism. Not only because the second movie kind of sucked but also because my girl Megan Fox was not involved in the project. While she had been around before the first Transformers, it was that one scene in front of the hot rod which is pretty much sparked Megan-mania for three or four years. I remember that scene well and how it caused me to break into a cold sweat and wonder: “Who is that and where can I download some wallpaper of her?”  

The Foxy one was pretty much the only reason I even tolerated the second movie. Even though she was no longer that fresh faced young hotty from the first one and already had a few box office bombs under her belt, she was still pretty hot and worth watching.  But then, when the third had come around Megan’s inflated sense of self importance clashed with Michael Bay’s God Complex and one of them had to go. Perhaps if Jennifer’s Body had gone on to make 300 million dollars, Bay would have been giving the axe, but unfortunately that was not so.

So, they dumped the Fox and got some other young hotty with a body to be Sam Witwicky’s girlfriend. The girl is a former model named Rosie Huntington-Whiteley and she is pretty hot in her own right, especially in that slinky white dress she is wearing through most of the movie. Still, she is no Megan Fox, but then again, Megan Fox is not really Megan Fox either (she kind of looks like a cat now), so we will have to let it go for now.

    

Okay, enough talk about the Fox, let’s get to the movie…

Much like the other two Transformers, the latest movie starts out something mysterious from the planet Cybertron has crash landed near Earth. However, this time it happens to be on the Dark Side of the Moon and the reason why JFK decided to send a few astronauts up there. While I am generally not one for bastardizing important world history (the moon landing being one of the most important milestones in human history) in order to sell a fictional alien conspiracy theory, but  I kind of liked the opening moon mission montage opening of this film. It was kind of like getting a history lesson.

A history Lesson in 3D!

Speaking of 3D

While I still think 3D is cool, being a person who wears glasses, I always have trouble getting those cheap plastic Real D glasses to fit over mine. In order to have things jump out of the screen at me, I need to constantly fiddle with them. What they really need to do is make a pair of special 3D goggle that people like me can wear. Otherwise the neat special effects are pointless and I am basically going to judge the movie on things like plot and dialogue. This time however, I somehow got the 3D Mojo working properly and I ended up getting the most out of my premium ticket prices. I do not know if it was because I managed to get them at the right angle or because I was sitting kind of close to the screen, but stuff was jumping out better than Avatar.  

And that was a good thing…

My main beef with most of Micheal Bay’s films, especially the last two Transformers, is the fact that the action moves at such a hypersonic pace, it is hard to keep track of what is going on. The fighting robots tend to become a whirring blur of fancy CGI and the audience is left holding on to their underwear why trying to figure out who is what. This latest Transformer’s movie however, is not as bad. I do not know if it was the result of Bay needing to slow things down to get the most out of the 3D technology or if he was actually listening to people bitch about his movies, but the action sequences in this latest movie are top notch and easy to follow as the Cybertronians hack the heck out of each other. It definitely worth the extra couple of bucks to watch it in three dimensions.

The movie is also pretty funny at times…

Aside from having the always charming Shia LeBeouf throwing out one liners, Bay also peppers the supporting cast with a number of good actors who shine in their roles. Most notable among them is Ken Jeong (the effeminate Asian Gangster from the Hangover) who delivers a great performance before being thrown out the window. A lot of the dialogue is pretty funny too and helped keep the moments between the action sequences light hearted enough to keep you from sneaking off to pee.

Sure, there were definitely some gaping holes in the plot but the kickass action more than made up for it. Even without the Foxy one, Tranformers 3 is definitely the summer blockbuster that you want to see in a theatre and worth paying the premium ticket price for those cheesy glasses for. Now I gotta go and work on my patent for 3D goggles for the bespectacled movie goer.